It Was Fear Of Myself That Made Me Odd – Unraveling the Depths of Self-Reflection
Spinning, arms spread
Crushing the tops of mountains with my hands
As I dive into the Pacific
I flood the shorelines
And I exhale causing
The ocean’s endless waves
As I emerge shaking the wreckage
From my hair, with my hands
I want to breathe
Life into the Dead Sea
As this rain forest
Falls beneath my knees
I want to breathe
Life into the Dead Sea
Below, where is your boat?
You are slow, you are slow
I will play until the sky is black (ahh)
Breathe in all the air
Exhale, and I will choke the land with carbon (you are)
Watch it all, burn it down (so slow, so slow)
From where I stand
I can see the curvature of the Earth
And I want to make it flat
I will play, the sky is black
I will play, sky is black
The sonic catharsis that is Alexisonfire’s ‘It Was Fear Of Myself That Made Me Odd’ plunges into the tumultuous waters of self-exploration and emerges as a visceral anthem for those who battle with their inner demons. At first pass, the track might seem enveloped with the trademark post-hardcore tenacity, yet beneath the roaring guitars and pensive screams, a deeper narrative awaits.
It’s through lead vocalist George Pettit’s introspective lyricism that the song unfolds like a tempestuous sea, with verses that pitch and yaw between imposing imagery and raw emotional outpour. The formidable title itself hints at the troubled confrontation with self that the song is set to navigate.
The Monolith of Inner Struggle Revealed in Thunderous Melodies
Alexisonfire’s explosive instrumental backdrop isn’t just sound and fury; it represents the mountainous obstacles we face within ourselves. When Pettit screams about ‘Crushing the tops of mountains with my hands,’ listeners are compelled to grasp the literal vastness turned metaphor—a person’s Herculean effort to conquer their own towering doubts and insecurities.
The immense force of the ocean waves controlled by the exhalation of the protagonist captures not just a sense of power but also the extreme pressure that builds up within, waiting to be released in an overwhelming tide. It’s a sonic explosion matched only by the lyrical intensity of a soul struggling to make sense of its place within and against the natural world.
Decoding the Allegory – Diving into the Pacific of the Psyche
‘As I dive into the Pacific, I flood the shorelines,’ Pettit roars, symbolically submerging into the subconscious depths. This lyric often strikes listeners as a cryptic admission of allowing oneself to be overwhelmed by the swell of internal conflict and emotion, wrestling with the tidal forces of the mind.
There’s a palpable push and pull in this line—a tension between the urge to delve into the deep and the hesitance that borders on fear. It’s a compelling image that encapsulates the track’s undercurrent; the diving into one’s self is as fearful and as odd as the ocean’s mysteries.
The Quest to Revive the ‘Dead Sea’ Within
The ambitions of the articulation in the refrain, ‘I want to breathe life into the Dead Sea,’ evoke the aspiration to rejuvenate what feels lifeless inside us. The Dead Sea functions as a stark metaphor for the barren recesses of the soul, desiring the breath of life—perhaps hope or meaning—to stir the stagnant waters of existence.
Through this powerful imagery, Alexisonfire connects the emotional resonance of the song with a broader, almost spiritual desire for regeneration and rebirth; to not just confront the fear of oneself, but to transcend it by infusing life into the most desolate parts of our being.
A Vivid Finale – ‘I Can See the Curvature of the Earth’
Near the song’s climax, the stark admission ‘From where I stand, I can see the curvature of the Earth’ offers an arresting visual that’s wrapped in realization. It’s a perspective shift that hurls the listener from introspection to a grand, external vantage point. This line doesn’t just serve to portray elevation but intimates a change in how one sees the world and themselves.
Longing to ‘make it flat’ seems to extend the metaphor to flattening one’s issues, to reduce the complexities of self and existence into something more manageable, more comprehensible. This is a line that has clung to the minds of fans since their first encounter with the song, prompting a universal pondering of the desire to simplify one’s life.
In Closing – Embracing the Oddities Within
‘It Was Fear Of Myself That Made Me Odd’ stands as a monolith in Alexisonfire’s discography not just for its potent sonic punch but for its unflinching honesty. Pettit’s lyrics cut through the fray, grappling fiercely with inner turmoil and offering a raw glimpse into the heart of self-doubt.
The song, thus, becomes an anthemic howl for those seeking to make peace with the oddities that fear and introspection reveal. It isn’t just music; it’s a conversation with the soul that echoes long after the last chord fades, inviting listeners to face their own inner tumult with the same brute force and vulnerability.