Meaning of “All Apologies” by Nirvana

“All Apologies” is a song that Nirvana’s frontman and the track’s writer, the legendary Kurt Cobain, dedicated to his wife (Courtney) and daughter (Frances Bean).  It details the expectations he faced in his relationship with them and the experiences he had as a result, culminating in him ‘apologizing’ for not being the ideal husband and to a lesser extent dad.

Verse 1

In the first verse, the lyricist is questioning what direction he should take in life. He is doing this not in the sense of actually requesting an answer but more rhetorically. He rather implies that every decision he makes yields some type of undesirable result. Cobain ultimately apologizes for this at the end of the verse.

Chorus

The prepositional phrase “in the sun” is repeated throughout the chorus. This phrase is actually said to be a reference to Nirvana’s hometown of Aberdeen, Washington. Aberdeen is noted for being extremely cloudy. Cobain longed to be somewhere other than the place. Apparently he desired to be somewhere warmer – somewhere sunny.

The chorus ends with the line “married, buried”.  This gives us the idea that Kurt was feeling strong discomfort in his marriage to Courtney Love and wanted to get out of it.

Verse 2

Some of the lines of the second verse, such as “choking on the ashes of her enemy” are difficult to interpret. However, within the setting of the paragraph and indeed entire song, sound as if they are referring directly to Courtney And being that Cobain and Courtney were in the most-intimate relationship possible, the audience may never know what he was referring to literally. However parts of the verse that are more easily understood include Cobain’s desire to be as carefree as the person he is directing the song to. In this verse, Cobain once again acknowledges his mistakes, though this time in an even more sarcastic tone than in the first verse.

Outro

The only line exclusively repeated in the outro is “all in all is all we are.”  This would imply that Cobain acknowledges his own humanness, in addition to the person he is directing the lyrics to.  In other words, he recognizes his own faults as well as those of his wife and basically resigns himself to the belief that that’s just the way ‘they are.’

Cobain’s Goodbye Message to the World?

Many consider this song “a farewell message from Cobain”. Why? Because he committed suicide a couple of years after it was written and shortly before it was officially released. Based on his suicide, it can be seen that his repetitive recognition of these human frailties is not something he took with a grain of salt, as the somewhat-comical tone of the song would suggest, but were rather aspects of his life that were genuinely depressing him.

Throughout Cobain’s adult life, he battled with severe depression and addiction problems. He ended up committing suicide in 1994. He was just 27 years old when he died.

Live Performance of “All Apologies” for MTV Unplugged

Below is Nirvana’s famous appearance on MTV Unplugged in 1993. The band performs the acoustic version of “All Apologies” on the show. This MTV Unplugged version was later released in 1994 as a promotional single.

Facts about “All Apologies”

• Kurt Cobain wrote both the lyrics and music of “All Apologies”.
• American record producer and audio engineer Steve Albini produced this track.
• On December 6, 1993, DGC Records released this song as the second single from the band’s third and last album In Utero. “All Apologies” was released along with “Rape Me” as a double A-side.
• During the band’s appearance at the 1992 Reading Festival, Cobain dedicated the song to his wife Courtney and his daughter Frances Bean Cobain. This was before the song was officially released.
• Nirvana never made an official music video for “All Apologies”.
• Being one of Nirvana’s most successful songs, “All Apologies” peaked at number 1 on the Hot Modern Rock Tracks music chart in America. It actually became the band’s third song to achieve that feat. On the UK Singles Chart, it peaked at number 32.
• In 2011, Rolling Stone placed “All Apologies” at the 462nd position on their list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.
• This was one of the songs the remaining surviving members of Nirvana performed during Nirvana’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony in April 2017. Singer Lorde provided the lead vocals during the performance.

Did “All Apologies” win a Grammy Award?

No. However, it was nominated for the following Grammy Awards:

• Best Rock Song
• Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal