Suicidal Thoughts – Peering Through the Veil of Despair


You can view the lyrics, alternate interprations and sheet music for The Notorious B.I.G.'s Suicidal Thoughts at Lyrics.org.
Article Contents:
  1. Music Video
  2. Lyrics
  3. Song Meaning
  4. Unveiling the Curtain of Biggie’s Psyche: A Descent into Darkness
  5. The Haunting Echo of Reality in Every Verse
  6. The Dichotomy of Sin and Sorrow
  7. The Undeniable Grip of Memorable Lines
  8. Decoding the Hidden Meaning Beneath Biggie’s Despair

Lyrics

Hello? Aw shit, nigga
What the fuck time is it, man?
Oh goddamn, nigga
Do you know what time it is?
Aw shit, what the fuck’s goin’ on? You aight?
Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
‘Cause I’m a piece of shit, it ain’t hard to fuckin’ tell
It don’t make sense, goin’ to heaven with the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
God’ll prob’ly have me on some real strict shit
No sleepin’ all day, no gettin’ my dick licked
Hangin’ with the goodie-goodies, loungin’ in paradise
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice (You talkin’ some crazy shit now, nigga)
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin’ to my mother, even stealin’ out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wish she got a fuckin’ abortion
She don’t even love me like she did when I was younger (Get a hold of yourself, nigga)
Suckin’ on her chest just to stop my fuckin’ hunger
I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
My baby mother’s eight months, her little sister’s two
Who’s to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
And squeeze until the bed’s completely red (It’s too late for this shit, man)
I’m glad I’m dead, a worthless fuckin’ buddha head
The stress is buildin’ up, I can’t, I can’t believe (Yo, I’m on my way over there, man)
Suicide’s on my fuckin’ mind, I wanna leave
I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin’ callin’ me
But nah, you wouldn’t understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man)
You see it’s kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
Except when I cross over, there ain’t no comin’ back (Yo, I’ma call you when I get in the car)
Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street?
People at the funeral frontin’ like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I’m gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga)
She know me and her sister had somethin’ goin’ on
I reach my peak, I can’t speak (Ayo, you listenin’ to me, motherfucker?)
Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c’mon, nigga)
I’m sick of niggas lyin’, I’m sick of bitches hawkin’
Matter of fact, I’m sick of talkin’
(Ayo, Big, ayo, Big)

Please hang up, and try your call again
Please hang up, this is a recording

Full Lyrics

In a haunting production that lasts just over two minutes, ‘Suicidal Thoughts’ stands as one of the most somber tracks The Notorious B.I.G. ever put to record. As the final song on his debut album ‘Ready to Die,’ it serves as the chilling climax to the narrative of an individual trapped in the cyclical nature of street life, and provides an unflinchingly raw look into the psyche of a man battling his inner demons.

Against the backdrop of a phone conversation, listeners are thrust into a private contemplation of mortality, sin, and a skewed vision of the afterlife. These lyrics—darker than the streets of Brooklyn from which they were born—are Biggie’s noir soliloquy; a farewell letter penned in the ink of existential angst and delivered with the grim acceptance of someone who feels they’ve run out of options.

Unveiling the Curtain of Biggie’s Psyche: A Descent into Darkness

The song’s opening lines immediately immerse us into Biggie’s morbid mindset where he expresses a preference for hell over heaven. The poetic nature of the lyrics is dread-soaked, filled with stark realism that pulls no punches. Biggie explores the harsh reality of his actions and the self-loathing that follows, painting a vivid depiction of a life where sins weigh heavily, and redemption seems a distant, if not impossible, concept.

The internal struggle is palpable; he doesn’t shy away from exposing his vulnerabilities or the societal pressures that have led him to this point. Every line drips with the inevitability of a fate he believes he’s crafted for himself, foretelling a demise that’s as certain as it is self-inflicted.

The Haunting Echo of Reality in Every Verse

‘Suicidal Thoughts’ pulls listeners through the various chapters of Biggie’s life, where deceit and desperation are routine. The narrative is a confession, a cairn marking the relentless burdens that come from living a life of crime, and the emotional torment of betraying those he holds dear. He highlights the complex relationship with his mother, the responsibility he feels for the lives he’s impacted, and the pressure of expectations bearing down upon him.

Biggie delves into the macabre temptation of suicide as an escape, stirring an alarming sense of empathy. The picture is crystal clear – a deeply conflicted soul caught between the allure of peace through death and the chaos of a life filled with guilt and regret.

The Dichotomy of Sin and Sorrow

In ‘Suicidal Thoughts,’ Biggie candidly explores the duality of human nature. He draws a line between the sinner’s pride and the sinner’s lament, acknowledging his flaws while lamenting the consequences they’ve wrought. It’s a raw illustration of the internal battle between embracing one’s actions and yearning for a different path.

The song is as much a confrontation of one’s self as it is an indictment of societal norms that pressure individuals into a certain mold. Biggie’s lines reveal a man at the end of his rope, grappling with the knowledge that his life choices are both a product of his environment and a series of individual decisions.

The Undeniable Grip of Memorable Lines

Each verse in ‘Suicidal Thoughts’ is searing, leaving the listener with a multitude of haunting lines that linger long after the song ends. Phrases like ‘I’m glad I’m dead, a worthless fuckin’ buddha head,’ encapsulate the self-hatred and hopelessness that define the track, cementing its place as a milestone in hip-hop storytelling.

The lyrics serve as a sharp sting, a reminder of the potency of Biggie’s pen. The song’s devastating narrative is propelled forwards by lines that strike a balance between the chillingly casual and the deeply profound, all of which contribute to the soul-bearing quality that defines ‘Suicidal Thoughts.’

Decoding the Hidden Meaning Beneath Biggie’s Despair

While ‘Suicidal Thoughts’ may, on the surface, read as a mere confessional of anguish and despondency, further exploration suggests a deeper, socially reflective undercurrent. Biggie’s lyrics can be interpreted as an outcry against the circumstances that corner individuals into feeling like there are no alternatives to a life of crime and pain.

The song acts as a societal mirror, perhaps inadvertently illuminating the systemic issues that contribute to the cycle of despair faced by countless individuals trapped in similar environments. In this light, ‘Suicidal Thoughts’ is not just the swan song of one man’s trials, but a grim anthem that echoes the silent struggles of an entire marginalized community.

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