Change by NF Lyrics Meaning – Unpacking the Struggle for Personal Transformation
Lyrics
I don’t do drugs, I’m addicted to the pain though
Yeah, I been on it for a while, dunno how to put it down
Gotta have it, it’s a habit I’ma break though
I just wanna take a hit, keep sayin’ I’ma quit
Keep sayin’ I’ma leave, but I stay though
I just want a little fix, I don’t wanna take a risk
I don’t like it when I drift from the safe zone
But lately, I been thinkin’ I’ma have to
Lettin’ go of things that I’m attached to
World don’t stop just because I’m in a bad mood
You don’t know what love is ’til you holdin’ onto somethin’ that you can’t lose
I swear I’m tryna get it together
Sleeves up, puttin’ work in, tryna be better
I like to rap, but I ain’t gon’ do it forever
Forget the charts, I’ve been focusin’ on holdin’ my head up
Moment I get up, I just wanna know I’m doin’ my best
And if I’m not, Lord forgive me, you can have the regrets
‘Cause I can feel the water tryna go up over my head
Most of my life, I always felt like I was holdin’ my breath
Holdin’ my chest to be honest, so I’m tired of it
Lookin’ for somethin’ in my life to be inspired again
I like to walk around and act like I don’t know what it is
But I know what it is, I just never wanna commit
Runnin’ from change
I’m lookin’ for change
I’m searchin’ for change
I’m lookin’ for change
I just want, I just want change
Yeah, I don’t like new things
Got a lot of mood swings
Oh, you wanna tell me somethin’ negative?
I don’t wanna hear what you think
Yeah, tossin’ in my sleep
Every night feel like two weeks
Thinkin’ ’bout how I could have done this or done that better
Can’t help it, that’s just me, lies
That’s me avoidin’ the change
Yeah, that’s probably why the issues ain’t goin’ away
Yeah, that’s probably why I always sit around and complain
Tellin’ myself that I ain’t never gettin’ out of this place
Out of my face if you tellin’ me I need to be different
That’s the issue though, I’m always insecurity-driven
Takin’ the wrong turns, actin’ like I know where I’m headed
Waitin’ for somethin’ bad to happen, I can snap any minute
I need change
Yeah, that’s kinda easy to say, right?
But difficult to do when I feel like I hate life
And everyone around me kinda thinks I’m a great guy
But I don’t ever think it so I think I’m a fake liar
Change, it’s somethin’ that I know I should do
I’m a little uncomfortable to tell you the truth
But to be honest with you lately, I got nothin’ to lose
See, I’ve always been full of pain, but now I’m makin’ some room
Lookin’ for change
I’m lookin’ for change
I’m searchin’ for change
I’m lookin’ for change
I just want, I just want
I need a moment of silence
I don’t like change, but I’ll try it
I don’t wanna hear what I should or I shouldn’t do
Why are they always defiant?
See, all my emotions are liars
All my emotions are violent
They don’t want freedom to find me
Mention a name and everybody riots (change)
Yeah, that’s why I’m checkin’ my vitals
They keep on workin’, but I know
Breathin’ don’t mean you’re alive so
I bag up all of my trash and walk out on my tightrope
Positive thoughts are my rivals (change)
I’m tryna be be on their side though
Should I feel comfortable? I don’t
Last year, I felt suicidal
This year, I might do somethin’ different like talkin’ to God more
I’m lookin’ for change
I’m lookin’ for (yeah)
I’m searchin’ for change
I’m lookin’ for
I just want, I just want change
I’m lookin’ for (yeah)
I’m searchin’ for change
I’m lookin’ for, yeah (ay, ay)
I just want, I just want change
Yeah, I’m lookin’ for
I’m searchin’ for change
I’m lookin’ for (yeah)
I just want, I just want change
I’m lookin’ for (ay)
I’m searchin’ for change
I’m lookin’ for, yeah
I just want, I just want change
In the raw and pulsing track ‘Change’, NF articulates the tortuous journey of confronting inner demons and the longing for personal evolution. With his signature blend of sharp lyricism and unapologetic honesty, NF delves into the complexities of mental health, self-improvement, and the paradoxical resistance to change.
The song serves as an introspective anthem for listeners who find themselves trapped in the cyclical patterns of self-inflicted pain and stasis. Exploring the inner turmoil and the stark realities that define NF’s sense of self, ‘Change’ stands as both a battle cry and a vulnerable confession.
A Cacophony of Pain: Addiction Beyond Substance
The opening verse hits with the revelation of a different kind of addiction—an affinity for pain—a hook that drags the listener deeper into NF’s psyche. He confesses an inability to shun this habit despite knowing its destructive power. Such confessions create a resonance, reaching out to those who might see their reflection in NF’s struggle.
This admission sets the stage for understanding the gravity of the change that is being pursued. It is not merely a tweak in routine but a fundamental shift in how the artist relates to his anguish, breaking from the familiar comfort of sufferance that has long shaped his identity.
The Chorus of Contradictions: An Internal Civil War
The chorus, simple in its structure but profound in weight, echoes throughout the song as a mantra drenched in desperation. Each repetition of ‘I’m lookin’ for change’ juxtaposes against NF’s aversion to the concept, revealing a clash between desire and fear. This is a man standing at the crossroads of transformation, consumed by the dread of the unknown.
These lines are the beating heart of ‘Change’, a refrain that becomes the listener’s own as they too grapple with their internal contradictions. It’s a call to arms for those who are frozen at the edge of decision, yearning to leap but paralyzed by what that leap might entail.
The Hidden Meaning: Security’s Dangerous Lure
Beneath the surface of NF’s hunt for change lies a deep-seated fear: the seductive pull of the ‘safe zone’. The comfort of stability, even when it’s painful, can be a formidable foe, shackling one to the status quo. NF’s aversion to risk, as he skirts along the fringes of his comfort zone, is emblematic of the larger human condition—our inherent resistance to the uncertainty brought by change.
This hidden layer of the track forces us to reckon with the uncomfortable truth that our biggest obstacle is often our attachment to a known misery over an unknown bliss. Such insight cements the song’s place as a poignant commentary on the inertia that plagues even the most pained existences.
Memorable Lines That Cut Deep
‘You don’t know what love is ’til you holdin’ onto somethin’ that you can’t lose.’ This striking bar captures the essence of human attachment and fear of loss. It’s not just about the loss of passion or love but also the loss of the very pain that has come to define NF’s existence. By clinging onto something, even if it’s painful, we ascertain its worth and validate the struggle of maintaining its presence in our lives.
Another memorable line, ‘Everyone around me kinda thinks I’m a great guy, But I don’t ever think it so I think I’m a fake liar,’ exposes the fissure between self-perception and the outward persona. Here, NF touches on the imposter syndrome that plagues many, where acclaim and success are met with self-doubt and a sense of undeservedness.
A Glimmer of Redemption: Dialogues with the Divine
In a moment of vulnerability, NF sheds light on the darkest corners of his past year’s mental health struggles, reaching a crescendo with the revelation of suicidal ideation. It’s this raw authenticity that provides a stark, somber backdrop for the emerging sliver of hope—as he contemplates a future that involves ‘talkin’ to God more’.
This suggests a turning point—a potential embrace of change that involves not only personal introspection but also a higher form of seeking. It’s an acknowledgment that sometimes, the path to change involves transcendence, a recognition of forces beyond our ken that may guide us through the travail of transformation.
