How Could You Leave Us by NF Lyrics Meaning – Unraveling the Personal Tragedy and Addiction
Lyrics
We were waiting, we were waiting
For you but you just left us
We needed you, I needed you
Yo, I don’t know what it’s like to be addicted to pills
But I do know what it’s like to be a witness it kills
Mama told me she love me, I’m thinking this isn’t real
I think of you when I get a whiff of that cigarette smell, yeah
Welcome to the bottom of hell
They say pain is a prison, let me out of my cell
You say you proud of me, but you don’t know me that well
Sit in my room, tears running down my face and I yell
Into my pillowcases, you say you coming to get us
Then call ’em a minute later just to tell us you not, I’m humiliated
I’m in a room with a parent that I don’t barely know
Some lady in the corner watching us, while she taking notes
I don’t get it mom, don’t you want to watch your babies grow?
I guess that pills are more important, all you have to say is no
But you won’t do it will you? You gon’ keep popping ’til those pills kill you
I know you gone but I can still feel you
Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us here?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Oh, Hey
I got this picture in my room and it kills me
But I don’t need a picture of my mom, I need the real thing
Now a relationship is something we won’t ever have
Why do I feel like I lost something that I never had?
You shoulda been there when I graduated
Told me you love me and congratulations
Instead you left us at the window waiting
Where you at mom? We’re too young to understand where you at huh?
Yeah, I know those drugs got you held captive
I can see it in your eyes, they got your mind captured
Some say it’s fun to get the high but I am not laughing
What you don’t realise and what you not grasping
That I was nothing but a kid who couldn’t understand
I ain’t gon’ say that I forgive you cause it hasn’t happened
I thought that maybe I feel better as time passes
If you really cared for me, then where you at then?
Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Hey
Our last conversation, you and I sat in the living room
Talking ’bout my music and I brought you something to listen to
You started crying, telling me this isn’t you
Couple weeks later, guess you were singing a different tune
You took them pills for the last time, didn’t you?
They took you from us once, guess they came back to finish you
Crying my eyes out in the studio is difficult
Music is the only place that I can go to speak to you
It took everything inside of me to not scream at your funeral
Sitting in my chair, that person talking was pitiful
I wish you were here mama but every time I picture you
All I feel is pain, I hate the way I remember you
They found you on the floor, I could tell that you felt hollow
Gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles
You gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles
Don’t know if you hear me or not, but if you still watching why
Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Hey
NF’s visceral track ‘How Could You Leave Us’ is more than a melodic outcry; it’s a raw, gripping narrative that plunges deep into the crevices of personal loss and addiction. With an arresting blend of emotional vulnerability and stark realism, NF, born Nathan Feuerstein, holds nothing back as he unpacks the desolation left in the wake of his mother’s death due to drug addiction.
The poignancy of the lyrics goes beyond mere storytelling; it’s an invitation into the artist’s most intimate moments of grief and his struggle to reconcile with his mother’s choices. As we explore the layers of meaning behind this heartrending song, its significant impact on both the artist and the listeners becomes abundantly clear.
The Echo of Pain in Artistic Form
NF takes us through the somber caverns of his psyche with ‘How Could You Leave Us,’ artfully weaving his pain into the fabric of his music. The song is not merely confessional; it’s an auditory memoir that captures the essence of a son coming to terms with his mother’s abandonment for her demons.
Each verse serves as a testament to the lingering effects of childhood trauma. NF’s narrative captures not just a sense of betrayal, but also the confusion and desperate yearning for a different reality – one where addiction doesn’t claim the life of a loved one.
A Portrait of Addiction’s Devastation
The gravity of addiction is not just depicted but felt in the bones of the listener as NF recounts the harrowing details of his mother’s struggle. It is a topic many artists tread lightly, yet NF confronts it with unapologetic forthrightness, stripping away any gloss to reveal the grit and sorrow of a family torn apart.
By doing so, he holds a mirror to society’s face, urging acknowledgment of the quiet battles fought in countless homes, and sheds light on the children left in the crossfire of addiction’s relentless war.
The Haunting Repercussions of ‘What If?’
In his lyrics, NF grapples with the ‘what ifs’ that haunt those left behind. Through poignant lines like ‘I guess that pills are more important, all you have to say is no,’ he reveals the inner turmoil, the wishful longing for a simple choice that could have rewritten the past.
This recurring theme in the song underscores the bewildered sense of loss that accompanies unexpected death, magnified when the choice to live seems like it was within reach, but ultimately unchosen.
Decoding the Song’s Hidden Meaning
‘How Could You Leave Us’ is more layered than a first listen might suggest, containing subtle nods to the complexity of human emotions and relationships. NF not only implicates the painful absence of his mother but also touches on his own internal conflict between anger, forgiveness, and understanding.
The complication of loving someone who is consumed by addiction challenges the conventional narrative of unconditional familial love and opens a discussion about the boundaries of empathy.
Lyrical Lines that Strike a Chord
With the memorable line ‘I got this picture in my room and it kills me,’ NF encapsulates the haunting presence of loss. These visceral lyrics resonate deeply with anyone who has felt the gaping hole left by a loved one. They act as an emotional anchor for the pain, encapsulating the song’s profound impact on the listener.
As the track crescendos with confessional intensity, NF employs his lyricism to grip listeners, making each verse a poignant reminder of the power of words to comfort, to evoke empathy, and to heal.
