Growing Sideways by Noah Kahan Lyrics Meaning – The Labyrinth of Self-Preservation
Lyrics
On some sad-eyed middle aged man’s overpriced new leather couch
And we argued about Jesus, finally found some middle ground
I said “I’m cured”
And I divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts
Keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart
I’m still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them
But it’s a start
But I ignore things, and I move sideways
Until I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day I know there are worse ways
To stay alive
‘Cause everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy
I’m terrified that I might never have met me
Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I’ll drive
I guess I’ll drive
So I forgot my medication, fell into a manic high
Spent my savings at a Lulu, now I’m suffering in style
Why’s pain so damn impatient? Ain’t like it’s got a place to be
Keeps rushing me
But I ignore things, and I move sideways
Until I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day I know there are worse ways
To stay alive
‘Cause everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy
I’m terrified that I might never have met me
Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I’ll drive
And if all my life was wasted
I don’t mind, I’ll watch it go
Yeah, it’s better to die numb
Than feel it all
Oh, if all my time was wasted
I don’t mind, I’ll watch it go
Yeah, it’s better to die numb
Than feel it all
But I ignore things, and I move sideways
Until I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day Lord knows there are worse ways
To stay alive
‘Cause everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy
I’m terrified that I might never have met me
Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I’ll drive
I guess I’ll drive
In the vast landscape of contemporary music, where artists tirelessly work the soil of personal experience to sprout relatable anthems, Noah Kahan stands out with a harrowing tale wrapped in deceptively serene acoustic chords. ‘Growing Sideways,’ a track from the silken-voiced bard, deals with the complexities of self-growth and the human penchant for avoidance when faced with painful realities.
This piece digs beneath the surface of Kahan’s poignant lyrics, elucidating the intricate dance between growth, self-denial, and the ineffable pursuit of contentment. The track is more than just a series of folk-inflected melodies; it’s a reflective pool that invites listeners to gaze deeply into the variegated depths of their own life experiences.
Navigating the Seas of Self-Discovery Through Song
‘Growing Sideways’ is not just a title; it symbolizes the non-linear path of personal evolution. Kahan divulges his intimate struggles with mental health and familial conflict in an almost confessional style. His voice, draped with the vulnerability of a man aware of his flaws, seeks not sympathy but understanding from anyone who’s ever tried to piece together the broken shards of their heritage and hopes.
Synthesizing his journey with hard-hitting metaphors, Kahan delivers a masterclass in expressing the nuanced battles where one tries to heal, often employing coping mechanisms that offer temporary relief but risk leading them further from their core self.
The Tumultuous Tango with Inner Demons
The song operates on two levels: the external facade of ‘growing and everyone’s healthy’ betrays the internal torture of potentially never meeting one’s true self. The lyric ‘I’m terrified that I might never have met me’ stands as a chilling admission of the dread lurking beneath the surface, highlighting the existential fear of losing oneself to life’s performative parade.
Kahan dissects this dilemma with a surgeon’s precision, framing the conflict between the desire to grow and the impulse to preserve the status quo. The song pierces through the armor we fashion from the myriad little lies we tell ourselves, drawing back the curtain on the charade of ‘wellness’ often showcased on social platforms.
The Quest for Stability in an Unstable Mind
In a striking testimony of his relationship with mental health, Kahan relates his experiences with medication and therapy. Herein lies the rub — the endless cycle of numbing and forgetting, a way of moving through life that resembles growth but runs parallel to it. This sideways expansion is an attempt to manage one’s mental landscape, to avoid the pain that is an integral part of healing and genuine growth.
The poignant confession that sometimes ‘pain is so damn impatient’ is a raw acknowledgment of the urgency with which psychological upheaval demands our attention, often inconveniently clashing with the modern world’s glorification of aspirational, aesthetic lifestyle.
Unearthing the Hidden Meanings in ‘Growing Sideways’
‘Growing Sideways’ delves into the profound tension between confronting one’s demons and the appeal of a blissfully ignorant existence. Kahan vacillates between these poles, musing over the seductive nature of a life ‘wasted’ but peacefully numb, versus one that trudges through the mire of self-awareness and emotional authenticity.
This dichotomy is hauntingly encapsulated in the final verse, where he contemplates whether it is ‘better to die numb than feel it all.’ The naked simplicity of the question, posed without the expectation of an answer, invites listeners to ponder their own escapisms and the cost of the comfort they provide.
Memorable Lines That Echo in the Chambers of the Heart
‘Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty, I guess I’ll drive’ — this lyric strikes a chord that resonates deeply within the societal and individual consciousness. It succinctly captures the paradox of functioning on fumes, a situation many can relate to in an era where burnout and chronic fatigue are the norms, masquerading as resilience and perseverance.
Kahan’s words linger long after the music fades, instilling a lingering poignancy that mirrors our everyday hesitance to face the difficult truths. The metaphor of a journey—endless driving on an uncertain road—serves as a potent allegory for the continuous search for purpose and meaning amid life’s relentless pressures.
