Meaning of “I Admit” by R. Kelly

“I Admit” is an R&B song by noted American singer R. Kelly. The song, which is 19 minutes in length, deals with a number of pressing issues in the singer’s life, most notably the numerous allegations of his inappropriate romantic affairs with women. In the lyrics, Kelly strongly denies all these allegations against him. He however admits that he has been unfaithful to his partner. He goes on to sing about how he has engaged in a number of shocking acts ranging from having affairs with numerous women, including the best friend of his girlfriend to visiting strip joints on a weekly basis. Having admitted to making relationship “mistakes”, he asks for forgiveness for his “sins”.

Things R. Kelly talks about in the song “I Admit”

Besides the infidelity issues mentioned above, the following are some other relevant things Kelly talks about in the song:

• Abused as a child. Kelly claims he was abused multiple times by a family member. According to him, the abuse began from when he was very young and continued until he was 14. In the lyrics, Kelly sings about being “so scared” to talk about it that he just ended up putting the blame on himself.
• Dropped out of school and not being able to read. Kelly confesses he turned his back on his basic education by dropping out of school at a very young age. He also admits to lacking the ability to read. However, he blames his inability to read on the illness dyslexia. In relation to his inability to read, he gave an example of being unable to “read the teleprompter” when he was asked to do a presentation at the Grammys. We don’t which Grammy Awards ceremony he is referring to.
• Helped many people who turned around to stab him in the back. He sings about helping an awful lot of people, most of whom “turned fake”.
• He feels like retiring. He reveals to his fans and the world at large that he feels “like retiring”. Here, it is not clear if he means he feels like retiring from the music industry or from life. Doesn’t go to church. He sings about turning his back on the church.
• Settling a number of people: He sings of how his lawyer advised him on multiple occasions to settle people in order to protect his career even though their claims were “bulls***” claims.
• Tempted to do drugs. He tells the world how he has been tempted to get himself in drugs.
• Not seen his for years. According to Kelly, he hasn’t had the opportunity to see his “kids in years”.
• Compares his predicament to that of Bill: Kelly sings about how his enemies are trying to lock him up “like Bill”. It is apparent the “Bill” Kelly is referring to is  the iconic American comedian and actor Bill Cosby. Cosby was accused of abuse by over 60 women. In April 2018, he was found guilty of three counts of aggravated indecent assault. He is currently awaiting sentencing.
• Wants to age gracefully: Kelly talks about wanting to be left alone by his critics to do his music and just “age gracefully”.
• He is broke. R. Kelly calls himself “a broke a** legend”. According to him, the reason he’s broke is because his inability to read prevented him from reading and understanding the contracts he signed. Owing to this, he ended up signing away the publishing rights to his songs. He reveals he now only goes on tour because that’s the only way he can afford to pay his rent.

Only God can mute me

The line “only God can mute me” is undoubtedly one of the most profound lines from the track.

The full line:

This line, which apparently is Kelly’s response to the popular #MuteRKelly – a social media movement against Kelly. The sole purpose of #MuteRKelly  is to boycott or rather “mute” Kelly’s music all over the world in response to the numerous very disturbing allegations against him. In response to this online movement,  Apple Music as well as the famous streaming services Spotify were forced to take down all Kelly’s songs from their playlists.

Kelly, who appears unnerved by the boycott of his music, uses “I Admit” to tell his critics and so called “enemies” that they can’t achieve their aim of muting him and that only God has the power to mute him.

FYI: Over Kelly’s very long career, he has faced several disturbing allegations of women claiming that he abused them repeatedly. Some even claim he kept them captive against their will.