“Right Said, Fred” by Bernard Cribbins

“Right Said, Fred” is what is referred to as a novelty song which, in context, means that it is akin to a complete comedy routine in and of itself. This piece also comes from the era in which relaying stories orally, i.e. through the radio, was more of a norm, which may explain the track’s attention to narrative detail. In other words, you’re not likely to come across a song like this one these days, which features an entire story, unless maybe you’re dealing with a track that’s associated with theater.

Song’s Narrative

That said, the featured narrative is sorta reminiscent to a Laurel & Hardy or Three Stooges skit. What it is based on is a less-than-ideal experience that Ted Dicks, one of the co-writers, had with moving a piano. 

So as presented, “Fred” is amongst three workmen, along with “Charlie” and the vocalist, who are trying to get a likewise piece of furniture into a certain domicile.

Of course moving a piano – or whatever it is they’re transporting that has “handles”, “feet”, a “seat”, etc. – is a difficult task. And so it is in this song – so much so that, to make a long story short, the gang ends up not only dismantling said furniture but also the home in which they’re placing it.

Throughout, they don’t seem overly serious or at least not that intelligent. And the aforementioned dismantling is largely done via the instruction of Fred, thus the title (although it was apparently Charlie’s idea to “remove the ceiling”).

But with this being the early-1960s and all, this tale isn’t solely about having a laugh at Charlie and co.’s expense, as there’s also a lesson to their bumbling efforts. And that is, after Fred’s own workday ends early as the result of ‘half a ton of rubble landing on his dome’, the vocalist chalking up their lack of success and the destruction they caused to Fred being “too hasty”.

Facts about “Right Said Fred”

This track was produced by Sir George Martin (1926-2016) earlier in his career, i.e. prior to him earning of the distinction of being “the Fifth Beatle” due to his behind-the-scenes’ contributions to the come up of the Fab Four. And with that in mind “Right Said, Fred” was released through Parlophone, who employed Martin at the time, and it was he who brought The Beatles to the label later down the line.

This song is not to be confused with Right Said Fred, i.e. the English pop band that came about during the early 1990s, whose moniker is named after this track.

The vocalist of this song is Bernard Cribbins (1928-2022), who passed away, at the age of 93, on the day of this post. He was known for dropping a number of novelty songs such as “Right Said, Fred”, though by his own admission he was a “a non-singer” and was more known for his contributions to film, both big and small screen.

The writers of “Right Said, Fred” were Myles Rudge (1926-2007) and Ted Dicks (1928-2012).