St. Vincent’s “Pay Your Way In Pain” Lyrics Meaning

The title of this song (“Pay Your Way In Pain”), as you have probably already deduced, is based on the idea of making it through life being a struggle. More specifically, one of the many themes which St. Vincent has established in the overall project which this song is featured on is tales of adversity trying to make it in NYC (with the singer being a recognized resident of the Big Apple herself). 

And that is actually as this song reads, as if it is relayed from a lady who most notably is economically but also socially challenged in the big city.

For instance, in the first verse we find her looking for food which she can’t find and also obviously can’t afford. Then when she hits up the bank to check on her account, she is given a much less-than-favorable response. Later she decides to just go and chill in the park, watching children play.  But the kids’ mothers chase her away apparently due to her disheveled appearance, highlighted by a pair of heels she is wearing. 

So in the midst of “feeling kinda queasy” she decides to head home, only to find that her lover has changed the locks. And underneath all of these ordeals is a sentiment akin to her doing what she has to do, following the program so to speak, in order to adequately survive. But still, as noted above, she is unable to and finds herself in less-than-ideal situations on a number of levels.

Narrator needs some love

But at the end of the day, she is not asking for economic opportunity or anything like that. Rather what she desires more than anything is to “be loved”. So with that in mind, it can be said that being broke isn’t the current circumstance which is worrying her the most. 

Rather it would be the fact that people such as her boyfriend and the mothers in the park and the bank teller are treating her in such an unsympathetic manner throughout. And it is upon such a sentiment that the song concludes, with the singer looking for a genuine human connection (i.e. love).

St. Vincent talks about the meaning of “Pay Your Way In Pain”

Meanwhile the most-basic explanation St. Vincent has given of this song is as it being based on “a world where we’re often asked to choose between surviving and dignity”. 

So in trying to derive a moral from the story, perhaps she is implying that we should not judge books by their cover. Or stated differently, we all should perhaps strive to be more empathetic when coming across a person who is obviously dealing with some type of hardship. 

Or put alternatively yet again, people have different ways in which they survive given their respective circumstances. And those who possess perhaps less-reputable modes of survival shouldn’t be made to feel as if they are inferior (i.e. mistreated). 

So the underlying implication would be something like, considering for instance the mothers above were turned off by the singer’s heels (which she had been wearing from the day prior), the narrator is perhaps engaged in some kind of hustle akin to prostitution.

Facts about “Pay Your Way In Pain”

This is the lead single from St. Vincent’s seventh-studio album, “Daddy’s Home”. The song came out, via Loma Vista Recordings, on 4 March 2021.

Concerning the name and overall theme of the project, it is actually derived from the fact that St. Vincent’s father was released from prison in 2019. In 2010, he was sentenced to 12 years’ imprisonment for what has been described as a “multimillion dollar stock-manipulation scheme”. And his incarceration had, at times, a visibly and publicly-displayed negative effect on the singer.

Besides St. Vincent’s dad, this project was also inspired by one Candy Darling (1944-1974). Darling is a late actress whom Wikipedia describes as a “transgender icon”.

In general, “Daddy’s Home “is meant to replicate “warmer ‘70s sounds”. And other influences that have been listed include artists such as Stevie Wonder, Steely Dan and another act which peaked during the 1970s, Sly and the Family Stone.

The music video to this track was directed by a filmographer named Bill Benz.

St. Vincent wrote and produced this song with Jack Antonoff, who is concurrently one of the most active song makers in the industry.  And she has worked with him before, with Jack serving as the primary producer of her sixth album, “Masseduction” (2017).

St. Vincent

Unlike her moniker implies, St. Vincent is actually a female musician. She was born in Tulsa but grew up in Dallas. Her music career began in 2003. And between 2007 and 2021 she has dropped seven albums. 

In 2019 her track “Masseduction” won a Grammy Award, being named Best Rock Song of the year. And outside of her artistry per se, the songstress is also known for more or less identifying with the LGBT community. In fact she dated a fellow female singer, Cara Delevingne, during the mid-2010s.