HEAVEN by Troye Sivan Lyrics Meaning – Unveiling the Struggles with Identity and Acceptance
Lyrics
Like a tear down a cheek
Trying to save face, and daddy heart break
I’m lying through my teeth
This voice inside
Has been eating at me
Trying to replace the love that I fake
With what we both need
The truth runs wild
Like kids on concrete
Trying to sedate, my mind in its cage
And numb what I see
Awake, wide eyed
I’m screaming at me
Trying to keep faith and picture his face
Staring up at me
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart’s mistaken, oh
So if I’m losing a piece of me
Maybe I don’t want heaven?
The truth runs wild
Like the rain to the sea
Trying to set straight the lines that I trace
To find some release
This voice inside
Has been eating at me
Trying to embrace the picture I paint
And colour me free
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart’s mistaken, oh
So if I’m losing a piece of me
Maybe I don’t want heaven?
So I’m counting to fifty
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
So I’m counting to fifty
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
So I’m counting to fifty
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
So I’m counting to fifty
Counting to fifty, counting to fifty
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart’s mistaken, oh
So if I’m losing a piece of me
Maybe I don’t want heaven?
The truth runs wild
Like a tear down a cheek
In the labyrinth of pop music’s shimmering façade, there lies a profound ballad wrought with introspective lyrics and poignant melodies—Troye Sivan’s ‘HEAVEN’. Within the spaces of its ethereal synths and Sivan’s hauntingly tender vocals, a narrative unfolds, one that transcends the personal to touch upon universal themes of self-discovery, acceptance, and the existential quest for truth amidst the noisy backdrop of societal expectations.
The melodic whisper of ‘HEAVEN’ offers more than just harmonious reverberations; it is an intimate confessional booth where secrets of the soul are aired out in melancholic tunes. For one to truly comprehend the beauty and depth of this track, it’s essential to delve beneath its surface, parsing through its verses to expose the raw testament of a young heart wrestling with the divine dichotomy of identity and the afterlife.
The Divine Dichotomy: Between Faith and Self
Sivan’s opening line, ‘The truth runs wild like a tear down a cheek,’ immediately sets a tender tone of vulnerability that pervades throughout ‘HEAVEN.’ Here we witness the visceral metaphor of truth as an uncontrollable force, an entity that, despite attempts to restrain, ultimately forges its own path. It carries the emotional weight of needing to express one’s authentic self, despite the pain it may bring to the ones we love (‘daddy heart break’).
Within the context of Sivan’s own journey as a gay man, these lines unfold into the profound struggle between fulfilling familial and societal narratives whilst cherishing his intrinsic identity. The tear—an emblem of both sorrow and release—becomes the silent, yet powerful testament to this inner conflict.
An Eloquent Rebellion: Seeking Freedom and Authenticity
As the song progresses, the artist confronts the gnawing voice within that ‘has been eating at me,’ signifying a relentless internal struggle for self-acceptance. The allusion to replacing ‘the love that I fake / with what we both need’ is a raw acknowledgment of appeasing expectations with a facsimile of conformity, while yearning for a genuine love that is liberating and true to oneself.
The lyrics transcend the personal anguish of the artist and resonate with a larger audience grappling with their own battles for freedom. ‘Trying to embrace the picture I paint / And colour me free’—this desire for authenticity and self-liberation is not merely Sivan’s plea, but an anthem for all who have ever felt stifled by society’s monochromatic brush.
Heaven’s High Cost: The Price of Conformity
One of the most compelling inquiries within the lyrics is proposed in the chorus—’Without losing a piece of me / How do I get to heaven?’ Sivan dares to question the traditional doctrines that segregate spirituality from authentic self-expression, artfully challenging the notion that one’s heaven—an emblem of peace and eternal happiness—may demand a sacrifice of fundamental aspects of their identity.
The question laces through each stanza as a haunting refrain, a symbolic representation of how LGBTQ+ individuals often confront dilemmas between their sense of self and the perceived pathways to divine acceptance. The ‘heaven’ Sivan speaks of encapsulates a broader search for a place free of judgment and filled with acceptance.
Memorable Lines: Echoes of Heartfelt Dilemmas
‘So if I’m losing a piece of me / Maybe I don’t want heaven?’—these lines echo with a striking clarity that instantaneously immortalizes the struggle intrinsic to Sivan’s ballad. Here, the quest for ‘heaven’ begins to unravel, as the value of conforming to external expectations is weighed against the essence of one’s truth.
It’s a poignant confrontation with the ultimate price of admission to paradise; if it means eradicating parts of oneself, is it a paradise worth seeking? This memorable piece of lyricism serves as a rhetorical question that ignites a deeper introspection about the nature of acceptance and the meaning of true heaven for those torn between different realms of existence.
Hidden Meanings: Counting to Fifty, Counting on Time
In the latter part of the song, the repetition of ‘So I’m counting to fifty’ infuses a numeric mystery into the emotional tapestry. This could be interpreted as a metaphorical countdown, a measured timeframe within which to resolve the identity conundrum, or perhaps a nod to the ’50s, a time of intense social conformity from which society has since evolved, yet not completely escaped.
Furthermore, it can be viewed as a mark of patience and steadfastness in the journey of self-acceptance, a symbolic gesture that underlines the slow-but-sure progression towards one’s personal ‘heaven.’ Each count bespeaks another moment of endurance, a step closer to resolving the contradictions between earthly existence and afterlife aspirations.
