If I Had by Eminem Lyrics Meaning – Peeling Back the Layers of Marshall’s Despair
Lyrics
By Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
In front of your optical to slow you down
And every time you think you’ve gotten past it
It’s gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret identities
And disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
They wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain’t lookin’
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Money’ll make them same friends come back around
Swearing that they was always down
What is life?
I’m tired of life
I’m tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I’m tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and many things
I’m tired of this DJ playing your shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I’m tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin’ off
I’m tired of jobs startin’ off at five fifty an hour
Then this boss wonders why I’m smartin’ off
Tired of being fired every time I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
For this jerk breathing down my neck driving me berserk
I’m tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of working in Builder’s Square
Tired of not being a millionaire
But if I had a million dollars
I’d buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand
I’d make the world suck my dick without a condom on
While I’m on the john
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn’t be enough
‘Cause I’d still be out robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss
I’m tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
Tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home
To have one in if I did have one on
Tired of not driving a BM
Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blonde whore
After work in the back of a Contour
I’m tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
Tired of being stared at
Tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people sayin’ they’re tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ain’t bringin’ half the skill as me
Sayin’ they wasn’t feeling me on “Nobody’s As Ill As Me”
And I’m tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of JLB sayin’ “Where Hip-Hop Lives”
But if I had a million dollars
I’d buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand
I’d make the world suck my dick without a condom on
While I’m on the john
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn’t be enough
‘Cause I’d still be out robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss
You know what I’m sayin’?
I’m tired of all of this bullshit
Telling me to be positive
How am I ‘posed to be positive when I don’t see shit positive?
You know what I’m sayin’?
I rap about shit around me, shit I see
You know what I’m sayin’?
Right now, I’m tired of everything
Tired of all this player hatin’ that’s going on in my own city
Can’t get no airplay, you know what I’m sayin’?
But ayy, it’s cool though, you know what I’m sayin’?
Just fed up
That’s my word
In the raw and unfiltered track ‘If I Had’ by Eminem, the artist strips back the layers of glamour typically associated with hip-hop to deliver a raw testimonial of his own struggles and frustrations. Before the Encore and well ahead of his Recovery, Marshall Mathers crafts a gritty narrative that dissects the harsh realities of his early life, untangling the pain and desperation that fueled his drive for success.
Weaving through the lyrics, listeners are invited to a grim tableau of poverty, betrayal, and the relentless pursuit of an elusive sense of security and respect. Eminem’s delivery isn’t just palpable—it’s a gut punch that speaks to the personal hell of trying to rise when life constantly seems to push you back down.
The Poverty Pilgrimage: Eminem’s Socioeconomic Struggle
The visceral images painted by the words of ‘If I Had’ take us on a pilgrimage through poverty, a topic frequently glamorized in rap culture but here presented with stark realism. Eminem’s candid storytelling isn’t just a mere monologue, it’s a reflection of an underbelly often glossed over. From working dead-end jobs to his envy of those driving BMWs and working at GM, the disparity between his reality and his dreams is palpable.
Each verse unfolds like a chapter of hardships, illustrating a life that shuffles past gas station counters and the return of pop bottles for meager change. It’s this socioeconomic struggle that fuels Eminem’s anger and his deep-seated disdain for a society that’s left him on the margins.
Relatable Rage: Piercing the Veil of Celebrity
Eminem never shies away from voicing his rage, and in ‘If I Had,’ the frustration is not just his, but ours too. Marshall becomes a mouthpiece for every listener who’s felt life kick them while they’re down. His weariness extends beyond personal grievances; it’s a collective fatigue shared by those who are tired of faking success while their pockets echo with emptiness.
The artist holds a mirror to society’s facade, the ‘friendly grins’ of friends who turn into foes, and the shallow success that eludes even when it seems within reach. Eminem channels a down-to-earth anger, one that resonates with anyone who’s ever felt sidelined or disregarded.
A Scream into the Void: The Hidden Meaning of Desperation
Beneath the surface of ‘If I Had’ lies a deeper, darker layer—the unnerving sensation of desperation. The hidden meaning here isn’t masked in metaphors; it’s blatantly crying out in lines like ‘If I had one wish / I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss.’ Such raw statements convey a sense of having nothing to lose, a sentiment that becomes a catalyst for transformation or, in Eminem’s case, a push to stardom.
The song is less a wish list of material gains and more an admission of the lengths one would go to escape despair. In this stark honesty, Eminem paints himself not as an untouchable star, but as a man teetering on the edge of self-destruction and societal rebellion.
Memorable Lines: The Rhymes that Define Anguish
Certain lines in Eminem’s songwriting do more than just rhyme—they scar. ‘Tired of not having any ends’ can be heard as both a cry about financial struggle and a metaphor for lacking closure—or an end—in various aspects of life.
Lines like ‘Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz’ encapsulate the sense of stagnation and embarrassment, hinting at the themes of social exclusion and the hunger for respect. Each bar lands as a weighted confession, embedding the track with relentless emotional punch.
Beyond the Lyrics: Implications of Eminem’s Honesty
‘If I Had’ is more than just a track, it’s a snapshot of Eminem’s psyche before fame turned his life around. These confessions reveal the artist’s appreciation for where he stood and hints at his fear of returning to that place of scarcity and despondency.
This song becomes a prelude to his later work, where the honesty carries through but is dogged by the concern of authenticity amidst success. Eminem’s transparency sets a precedent for artists to come, reminding audiences of the power of vulnerability in an often glossed-over genre.
