Conan Gray’s “Heather” Lyrics Meaning

This song is based on a scenario like a bisexual love triangle. According to Conan, the addressee is someone whom he was in love with. However, this individual did not have eyes for him but rather for the titular “Heather”. Now the gender of the addressee is never specified. 

Thus if it is a lady, the logical insinuation would be that she is a lesbian. But if it is a male, that would mean that Gray is gay, as in admitting he has romantic feelings for another man. Indeed such would be the general inference, as the singer states in the chorus that he wishes he were “half as pretty” as Heather. Also he lets it be known in his explanation of the tune that this is based on one of his own personal experiences, not him for instance singing from a female’s perspective.

That brings us to the true heart of the story. The singer has developed sort of a love/hate sentiment towards Heather due to her being the apple of the eye of the person he adores eyes. That is Gray wishes he actually “were Heather”, as in more like her, so that this person would likewise be attracted to him.  But in realizing that he can’t be her, he also wishes something bad would transpire to remove her from the scene. 

So conclusively, we can say that Conan is jealous of Heather since she possesses qualities which are causing the man he loves to be “mesmerized” by her. 

And what it all boils down to is that the addressee’s infatuation with Heather basically means that the chances of him getting romantically involved with the singer are nil.

Lyrics of "Heather"

Autobiographical Lyrics

Conan Gray has dubbed this song “the most honest recount of (his) love life at the moment”. In other words, it is based on a real-life story where “the person (he) really, really liked was in love with Heather”. This in turn caused him to ‘hate Heather with all his heart and soul’.

This was despite him understanding that it was not her fault that his friend had feelings for her, and Conan admits that she is “a wonderful person”. Thus in the aftermath of his outburst (i.e. this song) he feels a need to apologize her. But of course he no longer harbors any ill feelings towards Heather and instead recounts the whole transpiring somewhat comically.

And on Twitter, Conan has stated that “Heather” is a track that he is especially emotional about. Indeed he labeled it, from his own personal perspective, the “saddest” song on his “Kid Krow” album.

Facts about “Heather”

This track came out on 20 March 2020 as part of Conan Gray’s debut album, “Kid Krow”. Conan had teased its forthcoming a couple of months prior on Twitter. Also prior to its release, he seems to have implied that this is one of his favorite tracks on the album.

The label behind “Heather” is Republic Records.

“Heather was written entirely by Conan Gray. And the track was produced by Dan Nigro and Jam City.

According to Gray, he always cried whenever he listened to this song. This is because of how sad it made him feel. Below are Gray’s own words about what this song is about and how sad it always made him feel:

Conan Gray talks about "Heather"

“Heather” was a hit song. However, it wasn’t just any ordinary hit song. It was a sleeper hit (i.e. a song that takes a while to become a hit after being released).

Chart Success

Prior to “Heather”, Gray’s biggest hit was his 2019 song titled “Maniac“. However, the success of “Maniac” was easily overtaken by that of “Heather”. Now, not only did “Heather” make it into the America’s renowned singles chart, the Hot 100, but it also was a top 50 hit in this chart. Outside of America, Gray saw even more success.

The song charted in so many European and Asian countries. It was actually the first song of Gray’s entire musical career to chart in the United Kingdom, where it was a top 20 hit.

Below are some of the countries where “Heather” enjoyed a top-10 hit status:

  • Belgium (#2)
  • Malaysia (#2)
  • Singapore (#2)

Elton John talks about “Heather” and Conan Gray

“Heather” gained so much popularity that it even caught the attention of the one and only Elton John who heaped a lot of praises on the song. According to Elton, he was beyond impressed at Gray’s amazing songwriting ability.

Speaking to the BBC, Elton said he admired how Gray was able to write a very powerful and meaningful song like “Heather” all by himself. Elton referred to “Heather” as a “proper song” and talked about how rare it was these days for an artist to independently compose a song without any assistance.

Elton John talks about "Heather"
Interesting to Note

Gray almost refused releasing this song. And why? He felt that the world would criticize him for its lyrics that showered hatred on an innocent person. He was therefore surprised when people embraced the song because they found its lyrics very relatable.

The official music video to this Conan Gray hit was released in August of 2020. It’s worth noting that Conan co-directed the video. Dillon Matthew is the name of the other director.

Conan Gray’s “Kid Krow”

Starting his YouTube channel in 2013 and uploading content of his talent and gaining over 25 million views, Conan in his early twenties released his debut album “Kid Krow” on 20th March, 2020. 

The album was inspired by rough experiences from his childhood and teenage stages. TikTok, a vlogging social media app catapulted in making “Heather”, a single from the album gain popularity as it became a hit song, and the album at large.

The success of “Heather” and the entire album transformed Gray into an international superstar. Owing to this, he toured embarked on the famous “Kid Krow World Tour” that saw him perform in various countries, including:

  • Norway
  • Sweden
  • Denmark
  • Netherlands
  • United States

The album comprises twelve tracks, spanning a total of 33 minutes, 33 seconds. The production of the album was done by the likes of Dan Nigro, Captain Cuts, Jam City and Gray himself.

Gray basically composed all the project’s songs. The album belongs to a number of music genres, including:

  • Indie pop
  • Pop rock
  • Indie rock

A total of 6 singles (including “Heather”) were released to promote “Kid Krow”. The singles are listed below:

118 Responses

  1. Samantha says:

    Yooooo we love you guys ignoring bisexuality.

    • Charles says:

      imagine using the phrase “bisexual love triangle” and then? ignoring? bisexuality?

      • Anonymous says:

        They ignore the potential bisexuality of the individuals involved. If Heather is a girl, then she must be a lesbian, because God forbid that she might be bisexual. I would’ve the thought the idea she might also be into dudes unsurprising, especially when a man is singing a love song about her. Similarly, if Heather is a dude, then Conan has to b gay! Couldn’t possibly be into girls as well, even when heather, the object of the love song, is a typically female name. It ignores bisexuality bc ppl are either gay or straight, zero recognition of any middle ground. The ‘bisexual love triangle’ just describes the genders of the people involved, not their sexualities.

        • Anonymous says:

          While reading about the facts of heather, i am expecting about his bisexuality ( but iIthink they cover it lol)

          • gl says:

            i assumed this love triangle was bisexual in some way but like they can’t say “bisexual love triangle” and ignore the facts that either conan gray or heather or the subject of the song or all three of them could be bi like that’s not how it works

        • Anonymous says:

          I think it’s more Conan being gay and loves a guy. But the guy likes a girl named Heather since he called her perfect, he wants to be in the same spot/position as that girl.

        • LexiHodak says:

          Same im bisexual like theres nothing wrong with that even tho the ppl of this website dont even think u can like/love both genders

          • Kay says:

            I’m bisexual too and whoever says that’s wrong, its not! Its your opinion on what genders u like or who u like. It up to u! Please if anyone tells you that u cant date your own gender, there wrong! I’m a girl and I’m bisexual but i mostly like girls and everyone says to me, “Just marry a guy he will make your life much better.” And I say “No i can date/marry any one I want its not your opinion that counts it mine, so you can shut up and get out my face cause your just a Karen and a homophobic a$$hole.” So again u like who u want to don’t let anyone down.

      • Kim says:

        you’re so overreacting man

      • Anonymous says:

        She (or they) could also be pansexual (I’m sorry I don’t know if I am spelling that correctly)

    • Tori says:

      Lol ikr

    • Anonymous says:

      not the cis stealing our songs again i mean if you call yourself heather that just means your a jerk

  2. Edith says:

    Who else first heard his song on tiktok…

  3. SadPerson says:

    this song made me realize I’m trans I don’t know why though-

    • Anonymous says:

      Me too

      • Anonymous says:

        I’m nearly 50 and have been a queer identifying cis lesbian for the majority of my life… I thought this song was about a young transgender person and my wife thought it was about a young man in love with a lesbian! It’s all about perspective and interpretation! All in all, I wish anyone the very best, love with all your heart whomever brings out the best in you and always be brave. Life is too short not too.

      • The dude: age 12 says:

        Good for you two!!!! This song is so amazing in so many different ways. I’m trans too btw.

    • annavas says:

      this song made me wish i was heather too doe😭

    • Im A GURL says:

      This song made me realize how i was polysexual and i felt his pain being rejected by the girl i liked because she liked a boy so i got me a boo UwU but i mean this song is really touching

  4. Anonymous says:

    bisexuality can suck my d***

    • Anonymous says:

      mine to

    • Anonymous says:

      That sounds like pure biphobia. And by the way, biphobia is defined as the strong dislike one has towards people who consider themselves to be bisexual and bisexuality as a whole.

      • Anonymous Trojan says:

        I am confused about myself, I like this dude a lot but this girl is really pretty, I’m a Muslim and a girl. my religion says that “god made Adam and eve not Adam and Steve,” I am confused

        • Anonymous says:

          You should decide what to do based upon your own feelings, not the feelings of those around you. If your friends, family, community, or religious group cannot accept you for who you are, then that’s on them. Be true to yourself, and remember there are plenty of LGBT+ muslims, christians, etc.

        • Anonymous says:

          really sorry but got to do what you think is right for the afterlife

          • Anonymous says:

            you gotta do what you want to bb, love who you will and want. God would never hate you for living and loving your life! Stay strong darling.

        • suppp says:

          dude just quit ur religion lol. i happen to be christian and very straight and i dont really like the lgbtq stuff but i mean its ur life not ur religions

        • Friend says:

          In the Bible / The Koran (and I believe in every religion) it says to love whomever, (love your neighbor as you love yourself) and nowhere says smt bad about different sexualities, so trust me when I say YOU ARE VALID and there are a lot of people who support you .. good luck

          • Anonymous says:

            it also says that homosexuality is a sin & an abomination the the Lord :))

          • Hehe says:

            I’m a Christian, and even tho my opinion is that it’s wrong to be LGBTQ+ I don’t hate the gays at all, they are all beautiful people, the Bible says not to be gay and that’s just my opinion, and I’ve even had friends who were gay so I’m with you on loving every one!

        • Anonymous says:

          Don’t be… GOD Made man and woman to procreate.
          The Devil makes men sin with men and women with women.

          • Kay says:

            1 I’m atheist (meaning I don’t believe in god or the devil)
            2 god can go shove it up his a$$!
            3 People can like any gender they want (Like me im bisexual and im a girl but i mostly like girls! (meaning i like boys+girls but mostly girls)
            4 you can go f*** it, Karen, u homophobic b***h! (And btw homophobic means that you don’t like people who like there same gender)
            And 5 i just wanted to say, F*** U AND THE DAMN BIBLE U A$$ HOLE!

      • Ashash says:

        I think it’s not biphobic but homophobic, just saying

    • Anonymous says:

      Wtf is wrong with you to say something like this? I just don’t get it.

    • Anonymous says:

      yeah its just not normal… we were born how we were meant to be

    • Anonymous says:

      and my name is bisexuality 😉

    • Anonymous says:

      I think these guys missed the joke LOL

    • Anonymous says:

      same lol. If my crush was crushing on dudes and I’ve been after him for this long I’d literally ball

    • lamar sky says:

      um no. bisexuality is too good for your d***.

    • Liberty says:

      Dude thats rude my sister is bi I’m thinking your a Biphobic

    • Anonymous says:

      imagine being biphobic…………… disgusting.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Bisexuals?????? who’s she?

  6. Anonymous says:

    I love this song and im bisexual so this song make good point to the sexuality

  7. Anonymous says:

    Genuinely want to know, but I’m a straight male, and I adore this song. When I hear it though, I put myself in the head of a woman singing to a dude about Heather. And I’m not homophobic at all, just wondering if that seems “wrong” that mentally that’s where I go instead of to that of a bisexual or maybe what the article was saying

    • Anonymous says:

      It’s not homophobic and not necessarily “wrong”, it just means that typically you’ve not really had much experience with bisexuality. You should, however, remember that this is not a straight song, and that the man singing it is also not straight.

  8. Justalittleempty says:

    This is without a shred of doubt the most chill lgbtq+ song I listen to, other than the song “She” by Dodie Clark that is.

  9. TruthHurts101 says:

    You guys and girls not assuming genders…anyway you guys are making such a big deal about this whole bisexual stuff about this song. Honestly my opinion is you can keep your mouth shut about because, if you didn’t support it you wouldn’t have wanted to know what the song was about because, you guys can’t keep it to yourselves. I looked up because I research the points of music for a living so if you guys have problems with these types of music then you can either stop listening to this kind of music and or listen to and keep your opinion to yourself. There is no reason for discrimination for someone else’s sexuality not saying you have to agree with it but, at least keep your opinion to yourself if it is just going to put someone through something. If you guys think about it all of the things that some just said can really hurt someone one day and that will be the last thing they look at because suicide is a really big part of our world now. There are so many people out in the world that want all of the fighting and the killing and the trauma’s to stop. They aren’t going to unless we stop what we are doing first so if you agree with me please feel free to add on to this and make your own change and stop pretending this world is all glitter and that your sh*t doesn’t stink because there are many reason for today’s world. Thank you for understanding.

    • Janel says:

      I found this to be an extremely hauntingly beautiful song. I thought I understood it to be that the singer is in love with a male who is far more taken with Heather and that the singer has this dichotomous relationship with Heather, thinking she’s a wonderful girl but simultaneously wanting her too meet any type of fate to remove her from the situation for his selfish reasons. But then I saw the video and I was thrown off because it shows Conan and “Heather” engaging in intimate interactions. It’s obviously a girl’s hand that grabs and releases his hand, Then the fact that he takes the places a great deal of emotion when she gives him her sweater as he keeps it and dons the sweater and a skirt in the video makes me wonder if this was a relationship between the three where the connection is simply stronger between the unknown person who is the third member of this triangle, wittingly or not is unclear. Bottom line, this is a beautiful, bittersweet song, made even more heart wrenching because of the emotional pain Conan is able to add to this poignant song. At the end of the day, the sentiment is the same and the relationship between is neither her nor there besides that fact that it obviously take a painful toll on Conan. Sheer curiosity has me wondering exactly how the three are involved, but at the end of the day, it changes nothing about how much I love this song.

    • Anonymous says:

      He/she cut to the chase lol

  10. jadeEverywhere says:

    This song and story is very touching no matter who you are. I think that anyone can hear the way that Conan feels and I’m glad that someone has the talent to sing this song that can be related to many people.

  11. jbrians says:

    I love this song for the melody only not on the lyrics. So i DIDNT care about the meanings and lyrics since all these days.. the voice, the tune, the sound like The Twilight Saga OST. I can feel it..

  12. Anonymous says:

    I think he is talking about a guy because, in the beginning, he states he wore their sweater and the person said it looked better on him than them and well girls sweaters don’t really fit guys unless they wear the same size which is kinda less likely but it could happen but that’s my thought on the matter.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I’m not sure on my sexuality. I’m a girl and i’ve got many bi friends but never thought of be being bi. And i found out myself having feelings for a girl. And this is where i’m being confused like “do i like her as a person or am i really into her” aah god it’s hard :/

    • Anonymous says:

      i have some advise, if your wondering about whether you like them or not took a am i gay test or are asking help from strangers your probably crushing on her

    • Kiwi says:

      Just follow your heart, when I had my first feelings for a girl while also crushing on a boy I was confused too but I just went with it and im really happy I choose to embrace my bisexuality.

  14. Vanshika says:

    I think from the line “watch as she stand with her holding your arm” it’s more like Conan loves a girl and that girl loves heather referring that she is gay.

  15. Anonymous says:

    conan is a queer man and it is an lgbt song

  16. Anonymous says:

    I can relate to this song with my friend

  17. Cool kid says:

    It could just mean that the person he likes is a girl but the girl he likes is not in love with him, she’s in love with heather

  18. me says:

    bro i thought this song was from a girl to a guy, saying that she wished she was heather, but this version makes more sense lol
    im not against lgbtq+, but thats where my mind went as a straight person lol

    • Me tooo says:

      Sameeee! I always see it from a girls point of view. Since I’m super straight, the song gets me in my feels. Lol.

  19. Unlucky Fellow says:

    I remember listening to this on repeat after one of my crushes told me he got a boyfriend yesterday the day I was going to confess

  20. BISH says:

    I love this song so much but like UHHH IT IS TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKING A BOY AND HEATHERS A GIRL AND IT CLEARLY STATES THAT HE IS BISEXUAL

  21. Anonymous Chicken Tender says:

    I’m not bi or anything but I still love this song! I feel like it really describes the forgotten person in the love triangle, be it straight, bi, or whatever it is! 🙂

  22. Anonymous Person says:

    Yeah, like what the heck, some of the people in the song could be bisexual!!

  23. Anonymous says:

    This song reminds me of my crush, but i already know she likes someone :T “Why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty..”

  24. Grim says:

    I just scrolled through and read all the comments. This is an example of a compleatly chaotic community and it is hillarious. on a more serious note the complete ignoration of bisexuality.😂🤣

  25. Rose_love123 says:

    I love the song but I never really knew what it was about and knowing what it’s about make want to cry that’s really sad and I know how Conan Gray feels cause I’ve had an experience with that a lot.

  26. Sick of it says:

    I won’t let my daughter listen to this song because I am a homophobe I am only for Man/Woman relationships and I will not allow My Straight Daughter to have this perverted agenda pushed on her she didn’t realize until I pointed it out that this was a Gay song because she’s been raised in a straight normal family and it makes me upset that We NORMAL people have perversion shoved in our faces

    • Anonymous says:

      Re_26: if you are a father at all, you should let you daughter decide what she believes in and who she wants to like. It is just a beautiful song about something that needs to be said. If you don’t like it don’t listen to it. Just don’t force your daughter to do something that was not her choice. Plus, there is no such thing as ‘normal people’. No one is normal, everyone is THEIR OWN normal, beautiful human beings.

      • Anonymous says:

        woah woah woah “normal” isnt the same for everyone and while a child is a reflection of their family, it doesn’t make them molded into one of you- I’m sorry but there’s no polite way to respond to that comment ima leave it there

    • Sick of Homophobia says:

      You are so sick there is no such thing as a normal relationship sexuality is not a choice you cant force your daughter to be straight that decision is totally up to her. You call this beautiful lqbtq song that celebrates love that is completely normal a perverted agenda but its you that has a perverted agenda coming online to spread hate on my community and misleading your daughter on what is right and wrong.

  27. Kai says:

    if you wanna listen to a even more painful version of the song look up: “putting a spin on Heather” by egg
    i love her. Also, i’m mega confused. i’d say i’m Pan. if anyone asked. I like to think of myself as the perfect Boyfriend (me being an 18 yo female) to all my other girlfriends, as i have a boyfriend currently. also, i guess i’d call myself gender fluid?? because somedays i like to be girly and others a total dude. But all and all i love a personality not a gender. people are great.

  28. Anonymous says:

    This song reminds me of me and my best friend bc I’m gay and he’s straight D: I told him that I’m gay and he blocked me…

  29. Anonymous says:

    Lol, I actually thought it was about a boy who has like a second personality and it’s called “Heather” was something crazy on my mind when I find out that the song was about the personal life of conan, now I think that the video has more sense ’cause conan whish to be Heather and that’s why he dressed up like a girl, wishing that the person who was in love give him attention 🙁

  30. Anonymous says:

    I’m so straight it isn’t funny, the song caught my attention because I thought a woman sang it. Then I looked it up it’s a dude. Wrong on so many levels. I wished I never looked it up because I thought it was a woman singing about wanting to be Heather. Like Dolly Parton and her song Jolene. GOD made you male or female and that’s that. Satan makes men lay with men and women with women and that’s your choice to follow one or the other. I chose JESUS

  31. Anonymous says:

    My dumba** thought he was saying he was in love with heather smh this makes WAYY MORE SENSE!! Now that I know the meaning I love it even more 🙂

  32. Gabriella says:

    so i found out that gray (in the song)is in love with a guy but the guy he likes likes a girl not him.

  33. Anonymous says:

    I Thought it was about a gay man being in love with his straight friend.

  34. jo says:

    MMMmmmmmm this song is perfect how it is it doesn’t matter his sexuality he is awesome any way and we accept Conan

  35. IAmConfusion says:

    Why was Conan Gray wearing a skirt tho? Does he like cross dressing or does it show he is gay?

  36. Anonymous says:

    I think Conan is gay, the guy he likes is bi, and Heather is straight. I just want to say that I do not support LGBTQ+ but I am not a conservertive. If you are a member of LGBTQ+ I will not support you but, I will not hate you. One of my friends was Gay and he was fun, even after I figured out he was gay we were still friends. If one of my best friends said they were gay I would still be best friends with them without supporting their descion. and for the record, I’m Afro-Latino and not a Karen. I’m just a Christan who respects people and obeys Jesus. and don’t say I use my religion as an exuse because I do not, read the bible. And for everyone who does not belive in Jesus and trust in God, Let me say I am truly sorry for you.

  37. Sara says:

    Hey it can also mean that the girl is right, cause he jut said half as pretty as her and it can mean that he wants his girl back but she might be in love with heather??
    Don’t know, anyways we love conan

  38. I’m scared of this comment section says:

    Lesbian? MLM? Bisexual? All that’s clear is that the song isn’t straight.

  39. Anonymous says:

    It’s trisexual? They’ll try anything?

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