Selena Gomez’s “Lose You to Love Me” Lyrics Meaning

In “Lose You to Love Me”, Selena Gomez portrays herself as being the victim of unrequited love. And the addressee is indeed her boyfriend (or possibly ex). Part of her beef with him is due to he apparently loving another woman more than she. And this is despite him ‘promising her the world’, meaning that he gave his word that he would treat Selena good.

So the obvious implication is that this particular romance, at least from Gomez’s perspective, is toxic. Indeed she very much needs to get out of it, for the mistreatment is having a negative effect on her self-esteem. Or as the title artistically summarizes the situation, a prerequisite for Selena to properly “love” herself is for her to first “lose” this partner. And considering that the album this track is featured on possesses some autobiographical elements, this may very well be the case of Miss Gomez referring to one of her real-life exes.

Lyrics of "Lose You To Love Me"

Release Date of “Lose You to Love Me”

“Lose You to Love Me” was released on 23 October 2019. It was outdoored as the lead single from Selena Gomez’s hotly-anticipated third album. She had been teasing this track for awhile prior. And as of the release of the song, the album itself still has yet to be named.

Writing Credits

Selena Gomez wrote “Lose You to Love Me”. But Selena didn’t compose the song alone. She penned it along with a group of hitmakers, including Julia Michaels. The others are:

  • Justin Tranter
  • Mattias Larsson
  • Robin Fredriksson

The latter two, under the collective name Mattman & Robin, also produced “Lose You to Love Me”. Singer and songwriter, FINNEAS also contributed to the track’s production. FINNEAS’ work on the song made this track his first ever collabo with Selena.

Who is Selena Gomez addressing in “Lose You to Love You”?

Many think the lyrics are addressed to one of Selena’s real life former boyfriends. So if “Lose You to Love Me” is indeed about one of Gomez’s actual past relationships, then that leaves us with the task of trying to determine who exactly she is talking about. And indeed according to history, Miss Gomez has been in quite a few high-profile relationships, particularly with popular musicians like herself. And some of them include: The Weeknd, Zedd and Nick Jonas. So which one of them is this tune addressing?

Is it about Justin Bieber?

But of course the one person who she is most affiliated with in that regard is Justin Bieber. Actually she dated Bieber for almost a decade, starting in 2010 and more or less continuing until he got married to someone else in late 2018. In fact up until the point that Bieber married his wife (Hailey Bieber, née Baldwin) a second time in mid 2019, the Biebs and Selena Gomez were still perceived by many people as being an item. Take for instance, the fact that in March of 2019, after being accused by a random internet user of marrying Baldwin as a vengeance gesture against Gomez, Justin decided to respond to this accusation quite lengthily. His reaction insinuated that the whole scenario (i.e. Selena) is indeed something he is still quite passionate about.

So with that in mind, it is very much possible that the love triangle which is at the center of “Lose You to Love Me” is possibly that of Gomez, Bieber and Baldwin. In other words, there are numerous theories as to why Selena and Justin eventually called it quits for good. But the prevailing one is that Bieber was indeed unfaithful. And given the fact that their relationship has always been open (i.e. on-again/off-again), the insinuation would be that this time around Justin found someone who he was really serious about. And he was willing to commit to her over Gomez. Interestingly, such is basically the selfsame tiff the singer has with the addressee of this song.

Selena Gomez explains the meaning of “Lose You to Love Me”

According to Gomez, real events in her life were actually the inspiration behind “Lose You to Love Me”. And she said she hoped it could feel listeners with hope and help them create better versions of themselves.

Selena Gomez explains "Lose You To Love Me"

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